the milk will be good until october 7th

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:26:42 GMT

so i had a pretty good weekend. saturday i did laundry which was pretty dull, as you can imagine. but sunday i went out sightseeing. i went to grand central station & took pictures in the big atrium. then i walked to the library, which happened to be closed. so i walked up fifth ave from 42nd past all the designer shops. including tiffany's!! there are actually four floors. it was amazing. such a wonderful place. then i took a walk through central park and eventually made my way over to strawberry fields & took some pictures at the john lennon imagine memorial. it was a really productive day actually, the most productive i've had so far i think.

then yesterday i was supposed to be shooting & i went all the way to jersey city to find that the shoot had been cancelled. which was a drag. so i went on three castings instead.

& this morning some men came to install a working stove/oven in my kitchen. woo! so i can finally cook. the only problem is that i dont have an excuse any more to eat out, haha. then i did two castings & now i'm watching hilarious court cases on tv. who seriously goes to the trouble to sue someone for $400? it probably cost her more in legal fees & gas to get to courthouse haha. oh day time television.

& i just got called for another casting, gtg!

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:04:21 GMT

so i'm sitting in my room, which also happens to be the living room, eating jello pudding & listening to music on youtube.

today was exhausting, a grand total of 7 appointments. i was also ONE comp card short when i left this morning and had to make a little detour to stop at the agency and pick up some more, which was annoying. especially considering i had a huge stack on the table at my apartment. i was so tired when i got in & then it started pouring with rain so i decided to get take out. i love take out. the concept of calling & having things delivered to your door within minutes is still very exciting to me considering it's a rarity to even have pizza delivered to me back home in ballantrae. oh new york city.
i still miss everyone a lot, but i'm trying hard not to think about it. so far i've been the most positive & calm i've ever been on a trip.

i worked again yesterday which is good, two jobs in a week & a half! woo! & they were so sweet they gave me this huge owl necklace. good times.

i'm so excited for the weekend. i have made a list of 20 things i want to do/see here. & no matter how tired/lazy i'm feeling i'm going to force myself to go and do something this weekend. that's my plan & i'm stickin to it. my other goal is to finish an entire crossword book before i come home. i wonder which will come first.

p.s. current favourite song: Gray Or Blue by Jaymay

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 23:56:30 GMT

so i'm finally in new york. the flight was good, and i didn't have any trouble getting to the agency or anything, not another greece extravaganza fortunately. my apartment is a lot better than i thought it would be. the three guys i live with are really nice too. i live in an amazing location, east village, a five minute walk from union square. my kitchen is seriously lacking though, i have a sink and a stove that doesn't have a flint, so you have to turn the gas on, go really close with a lighter, light it and whip your hand away. and we dont have internet so i'm currently stealing a connection, it's a little shotty but better than paying $10 a day for wifi at starbucks. like those bastards dont charge enough for drinks already.

i had a pretty good weekend, on saturday i went to the metropolitan museum of art aka the met. it was incredible. one of my favourite things i saw was this massive rosewood piano with keys made of mother of pearl and tortoise shell. & i saw a guitar made from an armadillo's shell! then on sunday i had a lazy day. i went grocery shopping & then took a walk with my camera to washington square park. & saw the washington arch. & that was my weekend.

today i had five more castings. castings are exhausting, this is a massive city and i'm still a little fuzzy on the subway. today was kinda shitty, after my last casting i started to get an aura and was so sure i was going to get a migraine, and i kept bumping into people cause i couldn't see properly out my left eye. then i was confronted yet again with the swimsuit/lingerie issue. i was so pissed when i left, just because i'm tired of having to explain myself to people who wouldn't ever do it themselves, why i dont want to do it. so i walked back to the subway, complete with book, heels, aura and throbbing head. but i kept going down the wrong way & ending up on the downtown direction side, when i had to go uptown. i think all the climbing and descending of stairs helped to rid me of my headache, or maybe it was my frustration & my brain just decided to focus on that instead. so it's gone now. tonight i shall have another quiet night in my apartment with some tea & the office i think. & no, i will never tire of that show.

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:30:50 GMT

today was a good day. i slept til noon, then spent the entire day cleaning out drawers and my closet to make room for the new furniture. actually, it's not new it's a really old set. it used to be my moms. but i gave it a new coat of paint & it looks nice. i'm quite content with it anyway. i think i've done a good job with what i was given. so i drank lots of tea & got to read through old letters & things while cleaning out my sentimental drawer. i actually have an entire drawer devoted solely to things like letters, receipts, bags, tickets, maps, and other trinkets i've aquired through my travels. i spent all day listening to new music too. which was nice. i've grown tired of a lot of my music but alas i have not the funds to buy more. so last.fm is my new best friend. i know none of this sounds particularly thrilling or enthralling but it really was a grand time. i've never been so sure of my future endeavour to be a designer as i was today. oh and i had pizza for dinner. aaand there were sun showers for like five minutes. sun showers are my favourite. today was just a good day.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:13:58 GMT

There are so many tictoc
clocks everywhere telling people
what toctic time it is for
tictic instance five toc minutes toc
past six tic

Spring is not regulated and does
not get out of order nor do
its hands a little jerking move
over numbers slowly

we do not
wind it up it has no weights
springs wheels inside of
its slender self no indeed dear
nothing of the kind.

(So, when kiss Spring comes
we'll kiss each kiss other on kiss the kiss
lips because tic clocks toc don't make
a toctic difference
to kisskiss you and to
kiss me)

- e.e. cummings

Thu, 29 May 2008 03:32:10 GMT

i can't stop watching the food network. chef is second on my career list. if interior design doesn't work out, i will go to culinary school. but part of me hopes it does because otherwise i'd have to start eating meat again & i don't think i could do that.

i'm starting to get excited about new york. i'll definitely be there within the next month, and as usual before i go away i'm starting to become very nostalgic and emotional. but i'm so excited to have my own place again. i miss my independence a lot and it's been a while since i've had it. i think i'm ready to kick my ass in gear and start working hard & doing something with myself. i've been at home for so long now, since july pretty much. with the exception of japan, although i was only there for a few weeks, so that hardly counts. and honestly, i've been so bored. i've just felt so useless & i'm tired of not having money etc. so it'll be nice. plus i love the city. i'm mostly just looking forward to be a responsible, independent, working woman.

my mom and i are going to start decorating my room soon i think. i hope it turns out. we have very different taste and style and though it's my room i'm reminded that it's 'her house' and that im never really here and when i am it's not for long. i think she just doesn't want me ruining the mood, style, and ambiance that she's created throughout the rest of the house. oh well, i'm sure it'll be fine. either way i suppose it doesn't matter, because i dont plan on living at home for much longer. the only reason i still am is because i'm always travelling and i dont want to pay rent for two places at once. i'm dying for my own place to call home. because here isn't really home, so why should i bother making my room homey? i just can't stand being told when i can and can't go out and when i have to be home etc. i want my own place where i can decorate however i want and do whatever i want. i'm craving it so badly. whenever i'm stressing out about this job, i remind myself that every job brings me closer to my own place in toronto.

i have really nothing else to report. i dont do a whole lot. but i suspect that will all change very soon.
oh can anyone give me some music suggestions?
and book suggestions too?

Mon, 19 May 2008 00:02:01 GMT

matt came home a few days ago from the u.k. army selection with his broken leg. i baked him a welcome home/ sorry-you-broke-your-leg cake & then realized i didn't have any icing so i made some from scratch. i'm pretty impressed with myself. i've been painting a lot lately. bookshelves, not canvas'. i've been cleaning a lot lately too. except i'm taking a break from that since i sliced my hand open yesterday cleaning my mom's shower. i've been reading a lot more this year too. i've already exceeded the number of books i read last year. the library is my new best friend. i've finally received all the necessary components for my U.S. visa so i wont be seeing you all for much longer. i might have to go back to paris for a month or so & germany for a week before i head to new york. but either way i probably wont be here by the end of june. i'm excited to leave. i miss my independence.

Thu, 08 May 2008 07:25:06 GMT

close your eyes & sleep to dream

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 19:19:27 GMT

so clearly i am very excited about spring, as this is my second season-inspired post.
all of these pictures were taken inside my house. we have a lot of flowers, mama's a big fan.
yesterday my grandad bought me flowers for taking him shopping. it totally made my day.

in other news my house is infested with ladybugs. there's one sitting next to me on the couch and now she's crawling along my computer wire. ladybugs are the only bugs that i'm not afraid of. i'm not really sure why. i think it's their appearance. how can i fear something that sports polka dots? & their name is so non-threatening. Lady Bug. a lady is well-mannered & respectful.
i do wish they'd stay outside though.

i have to buy some sunscreen so i can sit in my backyard & drink iced tea & read magazines.

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:23:51 GMT

it's such a beautiful day out today. it must be over 20 degrees. i want to wear my onesie.
days like today make me want to do so many things. today would be the perfect day for a bike ride. i also want to go swimming, and i want to bake, and take pictures, and open all the windows, and paint, and read, and go for a walk, and eat on a restaurant patio, and drive with the windows down, and get a frappucino at starbucks, and send mail, and go kensington/queen west shopping, and do all other spring (in my mind) related things.

i think it's a fairly safe assumption that i suffer from seasonal affective disorder. i'm seriously brimming with contentment solely because of the weather.

these are some pictures i took in my backyard.

i'm not sure where the roof went...

this is eddie. eddie loves the sunshine.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:19:42 GMT

With the sounds of the ocean crashing
7:30 Friday evening
everything comes tumbling down
I choke back each tear that bleeds
I’d rather rest forever in your arms
I’d rather stay here than go but I know that
I should leave as i sit here helpless

Don’t go you said you wouldn't
You said you wouldn't
Don’t go you said you wouldn't
You said you couldn't

I think of our time together is it fading
or am I dreaming everything you said lives on
I cherish our memories
I want to kiss your tears away tonight
it's hard to give up the one
You never thought you'd leave

And I want to be selfish
I want to be selfish
I want to be selfish, you're my everything

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:54:51 GMT

show week is over now. im a a little sad cause shows are so much fun. i've been working like mad over the past two weeks so i'm looking forward to some lazy days, although it's strange coming down from that busy mindframe. of course i'm grateful i have time to relax, but the only thing is, is i get so bored. & i have no money/time to pick up a hobby. if you had the time for a hobby, or you had a weeklong vacation from school/work what would you do?

i want spring to be here so bad.

im working out my visa stuff for new york. i'm feeling mixed feelings about going. i'm nervous & excited & i hope that it turns out to be the way i invision it in my head. who knows maybe i'll stay there for a really long time. i remember when i was younger i always said i was going to move to new york. it's funny how sometimes things that you say you're going to do, and things that you hope and wish for actually do come true.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 06:28:14 GMT

i don't know what it is, but lately i've been feeling strange.
for some reason i feel like everything that was once an anchor & that was once familiar to me has changed, and suddenly carries this aura of unfamiliarity around it. things feel different. even though i'm home & even though i was away for such a short period of time. i feel like i'm not rooted. i can hardly describe it. all i know is i couldn't be more sick of change & newness & unfamiliarity. it's unfortunate trying to resist something that is inevitable. i just wish i could pinpoint why it is that i'm feeling this way & then figure out how to stop it. i feel like my life has no structure & no real purpose. if my life was doing something, it would be wandering.

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:59:32 GMT

i went to the interior design show downtown with my mom the other day. i got to meet brian gluckstein & i saw both him & sarah richardson live. plus a space that they each designed specially for the show. i can't wait to go to school & study this stuff. i also can't wait til i have my very own place to design.

i'm going to collingwood for a few days to shoot a bridal magazine. that should be interesting, or at least i hope so. a couple shots are going to be outside, so i hope it's not too too cold out.

i've been watching a lot of audrey hepburn films lately. i need to get some more. although i'm not sure if they're so easy to find. i hope so, because lately i haven't felt like watching anything else movie-wise.

lately i've been enjoying my alone time which is rare. i haven't really felt like being surrounded by people & i can't figure out why. it's so unlike me.

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:18:57 GMT

so it's 7:00am & i can't sleep anymore because i fell asleep at around 8:00pm last night. i had just gotten used to the time difference in tokyo when i left. so now i'm in some weird sleeping limbo land where i'm tired in the morning, the day, and the night. not just tokyo night time, but also toronto night time & not just tokyo morning, but toronto morning too. what's the deal??

it's weird to be home. i had mentally prepared myself to be away for much longer & i had finally accepted & come to terms with a lot of my issues & fears & things of being in tokyo, and then i came back. i was finally settled & falling in love with the city & i left. it just felt so brief. i've never been away for such a short period of time before. it's as if my mind is confused that i'm here. it's all, i thought we were away?? mind you i dont expect to be home for long. i'm sure i'll be shipped off somewhere else shortly. hopefully somewhere warmer & with less snow. but til then, i'm going to enjoy myself, because regardless of circumstance, it's always good to be home.

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 12:32:37 GMT

today i walked around with my flatmate michelli. we went to shibuya & omote sando & harajuku. i bought a couple of things & took a bunch of pictures. including these photobooth pictures that let you add crazy details afterwards on a screen, like bubbles & cherries & sparkles & things. i can't explain how cool this photo machine is, i think you just have to see it. or the pictures that it produces. so as soon as i get a scanner, prepare to be amazed! we also went to a meiji temple & saw a couple getting married. the bride was dressed in a bridal kimono even though it was freezing outside. that's dedication.
i'm pretty much all packed. the only things left are those things that you can't pack til right before you leave, like your toothbrush & toothpaste, and the clothes i'm wearing right now. turns out tokyo didn't work out the way we expected, & i'm not too sure where i'll be headed next. but i'm sure i'll find out soon enough. i'm really going to miss the coco curry house. best curry of my life.
see you all soon.

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 01:44:41 GMT

my internet connection is totally erratic so it's been taking me so much longer than usual to respond to people's emails & facebook messages etc. it's beyond frustrating. & no one seems to know how to fix it.
aside from that, i've started to settle down here more. i have to switch apartments this weekend. even though i may be heading home in a week. tokyo is apparently not the market for me.

this weekend i'm planning on going to harajuku. i didn't go last weekend so i'm going to go saturday. last weekend i went to cirque du soleil & lost the girls i came with after the show. i was terrified because i dont know my address, or how to speak japanese, & i didn't have any cash on me. plus we had walked there & i couldn't remember the way. & on top of that i couldn't walk because it had snowed & on the way there my feet had gotten soaked because my boots aren't waterproof so my feet were totally numb. so i got into a taxi & asked him to take me to a bank where i discovered that my bank card didn't work. except this taxi was still waiting outside for me to pay him. so i ended up paying on visa and wandering around shibuya having no idea where to go. finally i got the idea to show a taxi driver one of my 7/11 receipts, the one from across the agency because it would have the address on it so i could just walk home from there. but because we stop on a daily basis at 7/11, i pulled out a different one & he took me to some random 7/11 through all these side streets. so then i found a receipt to the supermarket 30 minutes walk away from my apartment. so i showed it to him & finally he took me there. then i had to walk 30 minutes through the thickest slush i've ever seen. but i made it home. i was seriously terrified. but i'm really proud of myself for managing to get home without money or my phrase book or even a copy of my address. (which i now keep a copy of in my bag at all times, written in both english & japanese on a map of my general area)

sometimes i can't believe i'm really here. yesterday i had to try on a wedding dress, it was different shades of blue & big & poofy. i looked like a wedding cake. & it was so heavy! it felt like i was dragging another person behind me. i doubt i'll get the job though because i couldn't stop laughing. especially when my roommate jessica had to put on the pink one and we had to stand and pose together. ha. good times.
oh & fun little facts: magazines open backwards & taxi car doors open automatically!

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:13:18 GMT

so because i haven't left my apartment with my camera yet, all i have to give you are these pictures of my very dirty kitchen. i spend my days here being driven around to castings in a big van, which is definitely a nice change from travelling on foot with nothing but a list of addresses & a metro map. this place has been the biggest culture shock i've experienced yet. i eat all of my meals at 7/11 when we take pit stops throughout the day. and let me tell you, 7/11 here is not the same as 7/11 in canada. there are two recognizable items that i have found so far: coke & pringles. so needless to say i've been eating a lot of pringles & drinking a lot of coke. i had to work on monday & take the bullet train all the way to osaka. i was terrified but somehow managed to make it. the people here are so friendly & helpful. when i had to change my ticket to an earlier time, the guy changed it for me and explained to me the best he could where i had to go. then he gave me a magnet in the shape of a bullet train. then i went to starbucks at the next station & got another magnet in the shape of a soy milk container. so monday was magnet day. i'm glad it's friday though. tommorrow i'm going to sleep all day, maybe do a little grocery shopping & then on sunday i'm going to go to harujuku & take pictures. & maybe shop. so if anyone wants anything in particular that i can easily fit in my suitcase, let me know.

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:16:33 GMT

so i spent all day today shopping & getting things i need before japan.
i bought clothes & dvds & books on tokyo. i'm trying to learn the key phrases before i go so i'm not totally in the dark. & i'm going to make a list of everywhere i want to go & everything i want to see before i go. i still have a million things to do & appts to go to & things to pick up. but one of my purchases today happened to be an agenda so hopefully i wont forget anything. ha.
i can't believe i only have a week left. i greatly underestimated how much time i had left. now i have to scramble to get things done. but i'm used to my forgetful self by now so it'll be alright.
also, i'm learning to be more organized, responsible, & independent. wish me luck.

konban wa friends!

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 08:23:30 GMT

i want honesty or nothing at all.

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 07:40:03 GMT

i'm leaving again in two weeks.
it has just hit me.
i have so many thoughts right now.
my mind is running around in circles.
& i wish it would stop.

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:48:13 GMT

merry christmas everyone!

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:31:03 GMT

so i haven't updated in a long time.
it was my birthday on the 16th & there was a snow storm, so i couldn't go anywhere. but then the next day we all went to Jake's to party & i got really drunk & fell asleep on the table. then allie & i coloured in michael's basement for a while til we fell asleep.
then i went out on tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, & last night.
i can't remember what i did on all of those days right now, but i know i did something.
so this week turned out to be almost like my birthday week instead of just a birthday day.
which is pretty great.
my parents got me a Nikon D40 digital SLR which i've been wanting for a veryveryvery long time now.
& i'm pretty excited about it. the only thing is i don't have a case for it yet, so i can't take it anywhere. so for the past week i've taken 300 pictures of things inside my house.
& holy crap there's only two more days til christmas.

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 20:45:50 GMT

the first snowfall of the year has arrived at last.
these pictures are from last year, but my backyard looks pretty much the same, maybe a tiny bit less snow.
i want to go out and bask in it, but i've got a cold & i've been staying in bed for the last few days in an effort to rid myself of it very quickly. i've never much liked snow, but i've always liked the first snow of the season. i feel the first snowfall is what kicks off the christmas season. so now i get to get all excited about christmas. i always get a rush of nostalgic feelings during christmas time. i really wish i could go outside. or just go out in general. i haven't had a cigarette in three days though as a result. surpringly enough i haven't even craved one. i think i'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon making christmas cards. !!

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:32:18 GMT

my weekend:
on friday kyle came up to my house for dinner to celebrate walter's (my grandad) 87th birthday. then we had a sleepover at my house. then saturday we went back downtown, & went to the duke of G.
then michael and i went to buddies & met up with chris and his friend. i did a shot of tequila. i haven't drank tequila since new years. then when i came home i saw my first shooting star! it was beautiful.
then yesterday kyle & i went christmas decoration shopping, and shoe shopping for winter shoes for him, and i bought a bag. because i have a problem. then we went to everest for dinner & had some delicious indian food. when we came home we saw a mouse & named him gerald. he was so tiny. & i'm afraid of him. we tried to catch him, but we are clearly no match to his clever diversions. sneaky little gerald.